Thursday, October 15, 2009

St. Augustine

Ok, I'm here, with my friends T & J. It feels weird. Not being with them, they are being so gracious and funny. But being in this town, which is so different from CT. T and I went into the ocean today. It was warm and wavy. I've got some plans to meet up with some other folks in the next few days. Will visit my house tomorrow with the property manager. Moving here would be so very different from the northeast, at least the places I have lived. The neighborhood where my house is located is quite funky, old Florida, and I fear I have been spoiled by first living in Guilford and then Hamden, both solidly middle and upper middle class communities. I'm embarrassed to admit I may be experiencing some classism in myself, which I really hate. Did working at Yale too long do that to me? Things are slowly gentrifying here, but not fast enough perhaps? Uck. Being in the ocean was wonderful, but how will I deal with heat and humidity for months on end? I can easily drive to parts of St. Augustine that are "classy," big homes for the rich, fancy expensive shops, but that's not me either. Maybe being in the Hamptons last weekend, which is charming AND classy seduced me. But I had a meltdown at the reception after the friends I came with left, and I was there by myself with less good friends. What does that mean? I was better after i left the reception and went to the house I was staying, and could get into bed and be alone for the night. And the ride back the next day was fun. I'm very confused. I'm just trying to take this day by day, have a vacation, and not feel I have to make a decision, just experience the place again after not having been here for several years.

And Bindi is not with me. She's with Achilles, the doberman, and Peeve (as in pet), the Boston terrier, and I'm sure is having a great time. I miss Camilla and Misty. I miss my Hamden house, even though I'm often lonely there. What is going on? Am I just stuck in the familiarity of CT?
Uck, again.

1 comment:

Hi! I'm Erin said...

What is going on? Am I just stuck in the familiarity of CT?

Maybe. You sound like me when I lived in Champaign. Not quite happy, but sad when I wasn't there. I still miss it. It wasn't until just this past month that I realized there would be thing I would miss if I moved from where we are now.