More Roberts

16 July 2008


The incense and candles from my last post. Holdovers from Catholic masses. And then morphed into the hippie culture. Now just purely sensual comforts. I am always reminded of Robert Mapplethorpe, the exquisite photographer, long deceased, and his attachment to altars because of his own Catholic upbringing. I saw a biography of him at an exhibit of his work, and cried because I felt such kinship with the man. His tenderness and vulnerability and his dark side. His portraiture is astonishing, including a self-portrait he made of himself shortly before his death.

The photo is of irises, dated 1987, photogravure technique.

Went to the cancer center Monday and yesterday, for set-up xrays. Today I start the radiation treatments. Monday I cried and cried all morning, but took Atavan before the appointment and was able to get thru having my head locked onto the table with the mask before the x-rays were taken. Yesterday I neglected to take the drug, and fell apart, esp. after listening to the story of a woman who had throat cancer. Sitting in the waiting area of the women's dressing room, I watched woman after woman come in, put on the gown, and sit and wait for her name to be called for treatment. How can I not be changed by this experience, since I will be doing the same thing for 30 more days?

Trying to decide which car to buy. Looked at Hondas, and Toyotas, and like the Honda CRV better than the Toyota Rav-4. Why are they making the back windows so ridiculously small? I'm having a hard time feeling what I like. None of them is calling out to me. I need something with room for the animals and the gardening stuff and my constant junk collecting, with a seat high enough that I don't have to bend my knees very much to get in and out. So sedans are out. They are all too low. The Toyota Matrix and the Honda Fit seem a little small to me, even though they get better gas mileage. The hybrids like the Prius have seats that are too low, but the fuel economy is very tempting. But I don't drive long distances, just around towns nearby, so it's not like I'm commuting and driving state to state where fuel economy would be much more important. I went onto the Car Talk website and took their Auto Advisor questionnaire for buying new cars. After I answered all the questions, it advised a Honda CR-V!! Making big decisions right now is the last thing I want to do, but the clutch on my 19 year old Corolla is about to go, and I don't want to put money into replacing it.

Supposed to get into the 90s tomorrow and Friday. Have a beach date on Saturday with a few folks. Can get a library state park pass so I don't have to pay the entry fee ($10). Called the YMCA here and I can use their outdoor pool on a fee per use basis ($10). Apparently, this camp pool is spring fed and very cold. May check it out this afternoon after the treatment.