The Past, The Present

"Haunted by the past" is a commonplace phrase because it's a commonplace experience. Even if one is not, strictly speaking, "haunted," the past is perpetually with one in the present, and the longer it grows and the further it recedes the stronger its presence seems to become. I agree with the Chekhov character who, when, in a crisis, he is reminded that "this, too, shall pass," responds, "Nothing passes."

--Philip Roth, in the recent New Yorker interview

Lots of depression this weekend. Fortunately, Rachel called this morning and invited me to go apple and raspberry picking with her and Frances. Unfortunately, dogs are not allowed in the picking fields, so I didn't actually pick anything, but it was good to get out. Then they came over and helped me clear away some more boxes, and put the table and chairs up in the dining room. That was a huge accomplishment.

Ordered digital tv today. Tired of just watching Channel 8. $33 for the first three months, then $45 or something. I think it comes with some music channels which I need cause I can't get NPR stations clearly on any of my radios out here. A big disappointment.

FLOWER

Flower, the matriarch of the Whisker clan on Meerkat Manor, the Animal Planet soap opera of meerkat society on the Kalahari, died in last night's episode of a cobra bite. I was with Rachel and Frances, and none of us expected it, and Frances burst into tears and cried for a long time. Meerkat Manor is an amazing program which reveals through remote filming the entirely complex, cooperative, courageous, hierarchical, and joyful lives of meerkats. It is a wildly popular show, and since I've been without cable or dish tv for a month, last night was the first time I'd seen it in a while, altho I have been watching it for a long time. Who would have thought that the meerkats had babysitting dens, or would banish individuals from the group for a forbidden action? These small, intense-eyed mammals remind us once again that we know so little about the animal king/queendom, and that we have so much to learn from them.

Found a dining table at a tag sale today which matches my chairs, and two umbrella stands, one of which I will give to M. since she has been looking for one and told me to keep my eyes open when I go to these sales.

On the Yale front and my job: Abuse of Power Comes as No Surprise. It is bad, but I am taking action. Don't know yet how it will pan out. Wish me luck.

Kittens on a Cloud

Frances was singing this song today, something about nothing cuter than Kittens on a Cloud. Indeed. Scored this tea kettle for $3 at a tag sale today; I think it might have been a fundraiser for orphan cats. I went to four or five sales today. Got a bedside table, two garden rakes, a couple of VHS videos (for a buck they were cheaper than renting). The tea kettle normally sells for about $50. And it was in good shape, no dings or anything.

Was gonna go to the beach today with Frances and Rachel but alas the clouds were about, and no kittens in sight. They helped me a little bit around the house, and we went to lunch at Peters II, a very small restaurant near my house that is really nice. Good food, very friendly service. Only open for breakfast and lunch right now, but planning to be open for dinner.

Got my free Shutterfly calendar of photos from Elba. It turned out beautifully. Part of the deal when I got my digital camera.

Up Against the Wall . . .

Had another meltdown yesterday, with nose bleed. This time I'm getting the union involved.

Good news: a niece is coming to help me with my new place!!! acksalutapop!!!

You Know You're Burned Out

when you are asked to plan a reception for Gloria Steinem and you have absolutely no interest in doing so, and find it just an enormous pain. At 73 she's going strong, and has just published a new book, "Doing Sixty & Seventy," on aging.

Cried almost all day long. Went out to Guilford to meet the Man With A Van to move the rest of my stuff out of M's, got there early, and walked into my mandala garden and lost it. Kip came over mewing and I picked him up and held him, and felt sorry for myself. Went in the house, found M, and cried some more. Got the stuff moved to the new house, listened to two voice mails which upset me, and cried some more. Went to Best Video and had a mocha latte and tried not to cry. Went to the acupuncturist and was able to relax some. Came home and M & S came over with dinner for me, and we looked at the Bindi book from Shutterfly which arrived today, and turned out beautifully.

There is no unalloyed joy.

Oh, MAN . . .

The GAs were on duty again today. After waking up late cause I was up too late last night, I drove into work, and parked my car on the street as usual. I opened my car door and BAM!!! A kid on a bike plowed right into the door and went splat on the ground. I was horrified, got out of the car, he said he was ok, but clearly he wasn't, and I made him go over to the curb and sit down. I picked up his bike from the street and a crowd had gathered around us and someone took his bike from me, and after ascertaining that he was a university student, I insisted that he let me take him to the health center. He said he didn't think he needed to go, but his shirt was torn, and he had a bad scratch all across the front of his torso. He wasn't bleeding or in any great pain, but there was no way I was gonna let him walk away after that. A young woman offered to take him on the shuttle bus herself but I said no, I will take him. Fortunately, he was wearing a helmet, and finally agreed that it was a good idea to go get checked out. Of course there was construction going on down the street where the health center is, so I parked illegally and took him inside and made sure he was seen immediately. The intake nurse praised me for bringing him in. She said they get bike crashes all the time, and usually the drivers of the cars just curse the kid and drive off. She said I was the first one to bring a kid in. What kind of a world do we live in?!?!?!? Why was I being praised for doing the right thing?!?!?! Someone later even called me "noble." NOBLE?? That's ridiculous. It wasn't noble, it was the only way to react in such a situation. They took his blood pressure, and he didn't complain of any shortness of breath, and they took him in the back for further examination. I gave him my card and said, "Call me!!!" after he was finished there. In the car over he had said he was pre-med, and in the college where a friend of mine is Dean, so after he called and said they didn't find anything terrible, I called my Dean friend to ask her to keep an eye on him. He slammed into my open car door so hard that the door pushed against the front left fender, denting it towards the wheel, and now the door is very hard to open and close, but it does shut. What a way to start a Monday morning.

I watched "A Hawk is Dying," with Paul Giamatti on dvd this evening. Excellent excellent. The best thing I've seen Giamatti do. Very powerful performance. Also watched "Breaking and Entering," with Jude Law and Juliet Binoche last night. Unusual, interesting. Very good acting.

I've been eating nothing but carbohydrates for weeks now. I have no taste for meat or even vegetables. I miss my Guilford garden, and I miss the Branford Stop & Shop. I went to the S & S near Rachel's after work and my classism kicked in. The carts were broken and beat up, the shelves weren't well stocked, there were flies buzzing around, the whole place was kind of dirty. Uck. I'd gotten used to the very well kempt shoreline shops geared toward the more middle and upper classes, and I have to say I'm not happy with my choices around here. I stopped at Best Video to return dvd's and had a decaf latte from beans that they charge 12 bucks a pound for cause they are fair trade and organic. Wasn't that good, but felt calming somehow. Then, I came home and there was absolutely not one piece of mail. Where's all the junk mail I used to get at M's? Thanks to all who have sent me cards and such. Really helps.

Came inside and was tidying up and noticed something sticking out from one of the cabinets near the floor. I bent down, picked it up, and guess what it was? A small picture of an angel that I had at one time cut out of a magazine. Have no idea how it got there.

Note to IKA: your drawings are awesome

Them Ol' Knees

Got the carpenter here today adding another step to the one step that goes up to the kitchen and the utility room. It's got a nine inch rise which is 4 1/2 inches too high.

Watched "The Night Listener" on dvd last night with Robin Williams and Toni Collette, from a novel by Armisted Maupin. Odd, but they are good actors, and it might have even been based on a true story. Nice to have a mystery movie where the sexual identity of the characters are incidental, and not the main theme. Normalized, not pathologized. Also watched "The Holiday" with Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, and Kate Winslet. Totally lame, but Jude Law is so fine to look at, and Jack Black was brilliant as usual. Anybody got any good movie recommendations? I'm near Best Video which is considered the very best video store in the area because of all the indie and foreign films it carries.

Tommaso came over for a couple of hours yesterday and offered his decorating expertise and skill at unpacking. I've almost got every cardboard box out of here, including the mouse poop that was in so much of it. Yikes. I'm finding more "presents," stuff that's been in boxes for years, things I've picked up from my travels here and abroad.

How do I get Bindi to stop barking when she is out in the yard? It's getting worse and worse. I DO NOT want to use one of those horrible electric barking collars.

The nights have gotten very cold, and I'm sleeping with my down comforter. Time to install the electric mattress pad! Ummmmmmmmmmm.

Florida With Manatees

Good news for manatees! Yesterday, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission voted to delay downgrading the manatee's status from endangered to threatened.

Calling the manatee "one of our state's beloved natural resources," in a letter issued to the commissioners on Monday, September 10th, Florida Governor Charlie Crist urged them to postpone their decision given the need for a better method to estimate the manatee population and the record 417 manatee deaths in 2006.

The FWC decided to defer the decision on downlisting manatees until at least the Dec. 5-6 meeting in Key Largo, FL. -- from the Save the Manatees website

Laura came over and hooked up the vcr and dvd player to the tv, and set up my desktop computer with all its parts. And put most of my books away. We found so much mouse poo in the cardboard boxes that were stored in the cellar at M's. Even tho everything was in plastic bags inside the boxes, the mousies still got in and did damage. Really disgusting.

But! I got three more pieces of snail mail today!! And that is just so wonderful.

Two Weeks

The standard contractor answer when asked when something will be done. Remember "The Money Pit?" Well, we should get our three computers in "two weeks." HA! How come when I sign onto Blogger with my Google account and I always check "remember me," it never remembers me? How can I do an interesting window treatment without blogging (I mean blocking) out the light for the plants?

Went for a massage yesterday, but it didn't help much. I need one every day for, uh, TWO WEEKS! The clunking is back in my neck. I think I have to keep seeing the osteopath. I think whatever she did helped.

Tommaso is back. I took him to Home Depot to get another bookcase, one of those extremely heavy particle board monsters. And he lives in a fourth floor walk up! Couldn't help him get it up there, tho. I'm sure he managed somehow. It was so great to see him. We laughed and laughed.

Got a set of white dishes on Freecycle.com. Now to recycle the black ones. I'm done with my black phase. Still don't have the tv hooked up. Miss watching movies.
Babysat for S. last evening for a couple of hours while her mom went to a parents' thingie at school. S. and I went to All Pets Club and looked at the puppies. There must have been 30 or so, all different kinds of breeds. Way too cute.

Dr. Noys' Pet Toys

Hey, I hit the snail mail jackpot today!! Three personal pieces of snail mail in my new mailbox! One from O. in Wisconsin, one from my naturopath and her assistant, and Bindi got the best new toy from her cousin Trinka Deu. It's a squirrel stuffie with a REPLACEABLE squeaker inside a small pouch which closes with velcro. She had seen/played with/chewed Trinka's when we went out to Illinois in August, and now Bindi has her very own. Bindi likes the small toys with squeakers but always rips the guts out and chews on the plastic squeaker within minutes, and sometimes I sew them back up with the squeaker if it's not destroyed, and sometimes I just throw them away. Anywho, it was great getting the snail mail.

Killer day at the Yale office. Non stop. Everyone had a crisis. Tell me this: why does a private university with many BILLIONS in its endowment give me a hard time when I need three new computers? And we need them now. I try to not get too furious about this, except it makes my job harder cause the people who need the computers come to me to do what they cannot. I asked over five weeks ago, and they are gaslighting me by saying someone will come around to do an INVENTORY! An inventory!?!?!?! I already DID an inventory!! I need three computers!!!

On the good side, I called the Cheshire community pool and found out that it's only $250 for the full year to use the pool which is a very good deal, so I'll sign up. The bubble will be in place in a week, and the pool will have been cleaned, so I can get started. An unexpected bonus of moving here.

And finally, Freecycle.com rocks! I got a very nice small computer table this afternoon which is exactly what I need. I didn't want something big and honking, and this is perfect.

We need rain. Badly.

Nap Day

Being at the beach yesterday was nice. We were there from about 3.30-5.30, took a dip, and munched on snacks. We noticed on the drive that THE LEAVES ON THE TREES ARE ALREADY TURNING! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh! Where did the summer go? Oh yeah, looking for a place, going to Italy, my father dying, moving. I remember now. R & F came over later and helped me move boxes and think about the placement of furniture.

I spent a few hours this morning planting the hostas. Each clump could be separated into several individual plants by soaking them in a bucket of water and twisted apart the roots. That was I was able to plant about twenty in a row with a plain one, then a variegated one, then a plain one . . . I still have more out at M's to dig up.

You know how I'm always looking for an outdoor pool wherever I am? Found one in Cheshire and went there today for a long slow lap swim. It wasn't great but it was outdoors, and they will put a dome over it for the winter. Cost me $11 just for the one swim, which seems quite a bit, but oh well. It's only five miles up the road. Have to find out if they are open for just lap swims during the winter. Seems to be part of the Cheshire High School, cause it has lots of lap lanes and bleachers and such. Is very convenient for me, however. After the swim I went to DQ and had a chocolate oreo blizzard, then came home and took a nap, the first one in a very long time. I was sooooooooooooooooo tired. Camilla was all cuddly and that was nice. Made some dinner but all I want is ice cream. Can't get on that bandwagon again. No, m'am. No sirree. Nada.

Figured out how to set up my high speed internet, so am not mooching off the neighbor's network any longer. AT&T gave me a free 30 day trial with Vonage download movies, and their selections are the worst! No bargain there.

Monday morning looms. I just don't have enough time to do everything I need to do. Well, I would if I was one of those high energy people, but I'm not. The planting of the hostas was quite a production and lapswimming was necessary. I need to be compassionate with myself and know that moving in will be a slow process, and I need to respect my limits and my own pace.

Kitchen

Here's Laura in my kitchen. We were cleaning before I moved stuff in and she helped me immeasurably. I need her again to help me unpack. I spoke too soon about Camilla. She's still having "issues" so I'll put her back on and keep her on the xanax for a while. Perhaps she is reacting to all the mess and boxes, and thinks we're back in Guilford getting ready to leave. I've had a couple of hard days, trying to unpack, going to my Yale job, seeing clients, getting the little things I need here and there. Been crabby at work. Ate donuts and ice cream yesterday, something I haven't done in weeks and weeks. Went to collect some perennials from a woman who had listed them on Freecycle.com and spent a long time trying to find out where she lived. Now to plant them. Got a beautiful housewarming gift from C & D in the mail yesterday, a stunning dark blue bowl with red accents, like my front door. My knees are hurting. It's 5:45am and I'm up cause Camilla had one of her "issues" out of the box and had to clean it up. It's so worrysome with all this carpetting. Rachel suggested we go to the beach this afternoon and I think that's just the ticket. We'll take a picnic, and chill by the water. I still need a dining room table. I'm resisting going to Ikea and just buying one, don't know why. Well, I do know. A lot of their stuff is crap, but for expediency's sake I just might. Have been receiving the local paper which is just really bad. Trying to find tag sales nearby and so far nothing. I'm still not getting any forwarded mail from the last place, even though I submitted the change a week ago. Could it really take this long? I think most people underestimate the toll that stress and tiredness take on a person.

But I have a nice new student assistant who is working for me at Yale. Unfortunately, the provost is giving us a hard time about the three new computers we need for our faculty and staff. How can that be? Yale has billions and a small program like ours gets treated like dirt. I try to not let it infuriate me, but sometimes I can't help it. They're going to send someone to do an "inventory" of what we need computer wise but, duh, I already told them!! Two years, four months and then I'm out of there.

New Home

That's my front yard. That's the front of the house. I'm extremely tired and overwhelmed by boxes of stuff, but glad to be there. It's quiet, and feels so luxurious to have a whole house to myself. My first piece of personal snail mail came from my niece and that made me very happy. Lurkers, send me more! It's quiet at night, and I just put food in the existing bird feeder in the front yard, and the birds are arriving. My animals seem quite content, although Camilla is iffy. She's been hiding in the closet. She is so attuned to my states of stress. Still have a bit more stuff out at M's which I must get, and am hoping to get some free hostas from someone who listed them on freecycle.com. Lots of shade, so lots of shade loving plants will be introduced. Dish tv guy came this morning and announced that I can't use dish 'cause there are too many trees, so I guess it's back to Comcast and the cable hookup. Yuk. Been exploring the neighborhood some and it is very nice. Nice nice nice.

Tomorrow

Out of clever titles. Dreamed of DillBoy last night, that he was alive and well. I still miss him every day. I'll probably dream of Dad soon.

Worked at the Johnson Road house today with Laura, washing out cabinets, cleaning the bathroom, being there for the carpet cleaning guy. The carpets had already been cleaned, but I wanted them cleaned again, just 'cause, and he put some anti-bacterial and some scotchguard stuff on it too. Left all the windows open to dry the carpet when we left ; hope it doesn't rain. Found a few minor repairs that need to be made, like, the landowners left me a garbage can that was supposed to have wheels, but had none. For instance. Rob was there for a bit, brought some stuff over in his car, and went up to the attic and found some minor treasures, along with some junk left by the previous tenants. There's a black and white cat that lives in the house in back, with the angry dog named Pudge. Hopefully Pudge and Bindi will learn to get along.

Took a drive out to Ocean State Job Lot this evening and got a new piece of astroturf for the garden shed, for ten bucks. And bought a light beige rug to cover the ugly mauve rug in the smaller bedroom. Bought Bindi a new dog bed for the new house. The kitchen has tons of storage cabinets.

Tried to go to sleep earlier but couldn't. Will try now.

T Minus Two Days

I don't even know what that means. Or if it's the right wording for two days left till I move. I'm pretty much packed, and I met the landowners and picked up the keys today. Bindi and I went over for a look, and I think the place will work out fine. There are a few minor things that need tending to, but nothing major so far. I hate the carpeting but guess I will cover it with rugs of some sort. Met the woman who lives next door; she is the mother of one of the landowners. Her other son lives in the house behind me. The house was built in the 1940s, and oddly, but to my pleasure, has a bright red door. The landowners have given me permission to plant perennials around the house, so I am looking foward to that as the landscaping is sparse.

Photo is a wavy day at American Beach near Maria di Pisa in Italy. No one was supposed to go into the water as the riptide was very strong, but you can see how well that worked. There is a U.S. military base nearby, hence the name of the beach.

Taking some plants to the new house tomorrow, to make it feel more like mine.

Dogy: A variant of dogie

n. pl. do·gies Western U.S.
A stray or motherless calf.
dogie etymology
[Origin unknown.]
Regional Note: In the language of the American West, a motherless calf is known as a dogie. In Western Words Ramon F. Adams gives one possible etymology for dogie, whose origin is unknown. During the 1880s, when a series of harsh winters left large numbers of orphaned calves, the little calves, weaned too early, were unable to digest coarse range grass, and their swollen bellies "very much resembled a batch of sourdough carried in a sack." Such a calf was referred to as dough-guts. The term, altered to dogie according to Adams, "has been used ever since throughout cattleland to refer to a pot-gutted orphan calf." Another possibility is that dogie is an alteration of Spanish dogal, "lariat." Still another is that it is simply a variant pronunciation of doggie.

Well, the Italians didn't know this when they put this sign on the dog poo box near the beach in Marina di Campo. Don't you just love how the doggie's butt just sparkles! Maybe the can is filled with motherless calves. Okay, enough.

Went thru boxes of saved useless papers today, getting ready for the move. Found some little gems that I didn't remember were there. The move is set for next Friday in the morning. I sign the lease and get the keys on Wednesday. Laura C. has been coming over to help me back; without her I wouldn't be doing a thing.

Had dinner with Jim and Rob last night, as Jim left CT to move to California this morning. Boo hoo. Another friend transplanted. I am happy for him making this brave move, but will miss him too.

Grief

Rainy, rainy day. Started the day with Dr. Artemis, my naturopath/acupuncturist. I was lying on the treatment table with a bunch of needles sticking out of me, and a song came over the sound system that struck a deep cord in me. A woman was chanting or speaking/singing something in English, and while I couldn't catch all the words, something about her voice and the melody and rhythm of the music made me start to cry. Dr. Artemis came in a few minutes later to take out the needles and I was still crying. I sat up to get ready to leave and began sobbing and sobbing. My nose began to bleed. And bleed and bleed. Dr. A came back in and said I had broken a blood vessel in my nose by crying so hard, and gently attended me. There was blood all over my mouth, on my t-shirt, on the treatment table.

I was releasing grief, and I had the thought that I didn't have enough time with my dad. I didn't have enough time with him in a good way. Not enough time with him as a child, not enough time with him as an adult before his car crash, and too much time knowing he was unhappy. When Dr. A was dealing with my bloody nose, I remembered that I used to get bad nosebleeds as a kid. One memory was of sitting in the bathroom with a nosebleed and my dad was there, telling me to put my head back, and I could taste all the blood running down my throat. I said to him, "I can't stand that taste." He said, "You can't stand anything." Ah, the oversensitive child.
And the insensitive parent. He was not a giving man. I don't remember him ever telling me he loved me.

I left the doctor's office and decided to go buy a candle to light for him, and for me, at a shop where I knew they would have the one I wanted. An unusual candle with the scent of Fresh Tomato Leaf. It was given to me by a friend a couple of years ago, and everyone liked the scent. I went into the shop and saw a beautiful black shop cat milling about. I said hello to him and tried to pick him up, and he bit me on the hand, and I bled again. I bought the candle, two actually, and realized when I was about to leave that I had left my keys locked in my car, with Bindi in the front seat. Fortunately, the day was cool and she was in no danger of overheating. I called the Geico people, and went next door to my optician's office. We had a nice chat and he proudly showed me his beautiful collection of antique optician's instruments. He wondered what their value was, and I said I'd do an internet search for him. He was so appreciative.

The Geico guy finally came, and when he got the door open, he immediately took Bindi by the leash and brought her to me. And as I was leaving, the woman from the candle shop came out and gave me a beautifully wrapped bag of candy, just 'cause. It was a very sweet gesture.

Tomorrow I will commit to renting a 5 room house in Hamden. It's in a very quiet neighborhood, set back from the road which is not heavily travelled, so the cats will be safe to go outside. It's a plain house, but has what I need: everything on one level, no steps at all, and big enough for all my stuff. It's more than I can really afford on my salary, but I will tighten my belt. I am so tired of looking, and this house will be near some of my friends which is what I need right now.

Resurrection Lily

Lycoris squamigera.

Today I was in Edgerton Garden for a work party, talking to Matthew and April as we weeded and pruned the herb garden. When I walked back to my own plot, I was astonished to see that my Resurrection Lily had bloomed. This plant is also known as Surprise Lily, Magic Lily, and Naked Lady. It grows from bulbs, and the foliage appears in spring and after a few weeks dies back to nothing. Then, miraculously, a flower stalk emerges from the ground in late summer and blooms with light pink flowers.

I had transplanted these bulbs from my mother's garden back in East Peoria, probably 5-6 years ago. They have never bloomed before. And now, twelve days after my father's passing, they bloom for the first time. It was so sweetly moving that it occurred to me that a fitting memorial to my parents might be a dedicated bench in the community garden. They had been to Edgerton Park only once, but the community garden is such a beautiful lush place that a bench in their memory would last a very long time, and have great meaning to me. I have written my siblings about this.

The Prospect house is out. The landowner has shown himself to be unreliable, and while I am disappointed in many ways, I shall move on. I have three places to look at tomorrow and one on Monday. I feel somewhat less stressed about the move; not sure why.

Visited a new faculty member today in Hamden, to pick up some moving boxes she had. Their house is on a stunning piece of land. Took Bindi to the dog park after for a while, but she was not too keen on running with the other canines. She did a bit, then we went home, but only after a stop at the Stony Creek beach where Bindi walked into the water and lay down first on one side, then on another, to cool off. It was not a hot day but she is getting more and more comfortable with being in the water. I hope to see her swim sometime soon.

Frances stayed over on Thursday night. As soon as she went to bed, I let Misty in the door and she brought in the tiniest baby bunny. She dropped it from her mouth, I picked it up, Frances wanted to see it, then I let it go. That same night around 1am, Camilla decided she did not like the fan I had blowing on the bed, not my usual setup, and she proceeded to pee about a quart right next to me! The wetness woke me up, and I spent the next half hour stripping sheets and mattress pad and nightgown from the bed, and replacing with clean. She has never done that before. Her stress level is sky high, and even with the xanax she is on she cannot be trusted. Misty is catching mice, voles, bunnies, and I don't know what else. This evening both she and Camilla were chasing a tiny mouse around the bedroom. I rescued that little creature and put it back outside. Life in the country.

The pain in my foot is less, after treatments from the acupuncturist and the osteopath. I don't know what they do that works, but it certainly seems to.

Received sympathy cards from two of my favorite men friends. Lovely.

I also noticed today that the butterfly pea I planted this year for the first time from seed had bloomed.

Dad

My father died today. Around three thirty. My older sister Carolyn was with him. It is what he wanted. He was not happy with his life.

I was in Edgerton garden around that time, a fitting place. I was weeding, and planting. Things my father did, which instilled the love of gardening in me.

I had a dream last night about a cobalt blue glass goblet. It was etched with names, or dates, or something else, I cannot remember. It broke in the dream, and I knew it could not be repaired, it was so precious. I may have been passing it to someone else, perhaps one of my sisters, when it broke.

I will go to Illinois tomorrow for a few days.
Rest in peace, Daddy.

Pisa at Night

This is a photo of Tommaso and his friend Francesca in front of the Keith Haring mural in Pisa. I was surprised to come across it there, and T said he painted it just before he died. The shadow in back of T and Francesca is a glass wall to prevent people from touching it or defacing it.

That night in Pisa was really hard. It was very hot, we had to walk a long way to see the leaning tower, it was crowded and dirty, and many of the small alleyways we walked thru smelled of piss. Yuk. We stopped for gelato, and I didn't even want to finish mine, which is unheard of. We met up with another friend of theirs, Riki, who was very pleasant, but I was complaining so much that I can't image I made a very good impression. I'm twice the age of these kids, and they were not bothered by the walking or the throngs of people or even the grimy streets, and they were very tolerant of my whining.

The leaning tower was underwhelming. I've seen better photos of it. It's on a small plot of ground with a cathedral, and perhaps because it was night I did not see all the "glorious" details, but it didn't seem like a big deal to me. None of the Italians sweat there, but I was just dripping with it, but I long ago decided I would not be embarrassed by having inherited my father's sweat glands! Tommaso kept commenting on it, tho. Bad boy.

***********

I'm going to go look at three more apartments today. Then have to be home for the first load of M's stuff to arrive. And Kip has gone missing all night! I just want to sleep, but the anxiety is too great.