Uh, more what?

SNOW! Big large flakes falling slowly. I put the sweater on Bindi that her auntie C. made for her, and she went outside and peed and ran around in the powder, under after about 1 minute she got cold. I put on my boots and trudged out to the bird feeder, which was empty, and brought it in to fill it. I'll go thru a lot to fill the bird feeder if it is empty. I remember times being so depressed I could hardly move, but the one thing I could get myself to do was fill the feeder for the birds. It seemed very very important to do that for them. And me.

Still have my ornaments, baubles, foxes, dogs, angels, globes, wreaths, sequinned dinosaurs, crystals hanging on my hibiscus bush. And the lights. Have no desire to remove any of it, since it is so beautiful and brings me such joy to think of where each hanging treasure came from. Of course, this is the time of year that the aphids start to attack this hibiscus tree, so when they overwhelm the plant, then I'll take everything off and spray the heck out of those aphids.

Have to decide if I want to go back to yoga, and do it in a chair, just upper body stuff. Guess I'll go back and talk to the instructor, but I'm sure he won't mind. Am checking out a gym called Healthtrax, a franchise, that's supposed to be pretty nice and pretty close to where I live. They have swimming pools, which most gyms don't. I think it will be kind of expensive, but I've heard it's very clean, has an older clientele.

The guitar. I have no interest in practicing. It's hard. Even though I know the more I practice, the easier it will get. I am going to ask my teacher if he will let me take lessons, without the expectation of practicing. I *might* practice if the spirit moves me, but I don't want to feel the stress of having to do it. That makes me feel awful. Well, why do you want to continue lessons, you may well ask? Because I want the mental challenge of the lessons, and eventually hope to learn to play something besides "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It feels like that same old thing where I would practice if someone else were around, but I can't seem to do it alone. It's become clearer and clearer to me that it would be better for me to be living with other people, but who can I stand, and how could I get a house big enough so I could be completely alone in silence if I needed to, even if the other person were in the house? I don't want to listen to them banging around, or talking on the phone, or snorking snot or anything like that.

What I've been calling "lack of discipline" all these years has been a combo of ADD, anxiety, depression. I talked to my shrink about it this week, and we're gonna try yet another drug to see if some of the ADD/anxiety symptoms can be lessened. I don't like taking all these drugs, but alas.

I guess this is a good day to go thru some more files and throw out, refile, archive. I can do a bit of that alone. Especially now that my house is a balmy 68 degrees.

Cold, Cold Go Away

No heat this morning. Have just called the oil company, but I called them a couple of days ago to make sure I had enough oil. When I called just now, the guy wanted me to go to the cellar and check the level of the fuel, which I can't do because of all the snow covering the bulkhead outside and because of my knees getting down the stairs.





And me with an overnight guest, a 10 year old, who was extremely happy to watch cartoons last night since he doesn't get to watch them at home. The heat was working fine when I went to bed. I had turned it up, cause of the kid sleepover, and because MY HEATED MATTRESS PAD DOESN'T WORK ANY MORE! I could set the house temp to 55 degrees overnight, and turn it up in the morning, but until I get a new HEATED MATTRESS PAD. I need it to be warm at night.



11.15 Called the landlord, he came over, tried to reset the furnace, no go. Now I'm waiting for the oil company, but of course they are overwhelmed with calls. Supposed to go to the New Britain Museum at 2pm with C & D, but not if the oil company hasn't shown up yet.



Bindi's still under the covers, even with her cashmere sweater on. She was walking around shiverring this morning. I wish she were a big old Newfoundland dog about now, cause I could just curl up with a huge canine and watch bad tv till the furnace is fixed.

10.00 pm I waited eight hours before the furnace guy came. He went straight to the cellar from outside, banged around a while, went back and forth to his van, never came to the door to tell me what he was doing or would do, fixed it and left. It's now a balmy 70 degrees in here. Feels so luxurious after hovering under blankets with a space heater all day. Man, that can make you tense!

Didn't make it to the museum, but we did go out to dinner at a nice Italian place, and I went over to see C & D's condo that they just bought. It's very nice. They went me to move back to the shoreline. Everyone thinks I'm very far away where I am, but I did try to find a place on the shoreline and couldn't. Oh well.

Note to people with small dogs/cats they might want to take on an airplane trip: the fee each way for an in-cabin pet used to be $80. Now it's $150 each way, for a total of $300 round trip. So while my ticket for my next trip was only $189, the dog will cost me $300!!! And she has to stay in her carrier under the seat in front of me on the floor. Not even her own seat for that money!

Bought a new heated mattress pad at Kohl's. Too tired to put it on right now, but tomorrow will redo the bed and get the fire going again.

Sad Morning

I woke up and drew back my bedroom curtains to find this upsetting sight. Guess I need some feedback on whether this is a freak accident, or whether I caused it by using fishing line to hang the bird feeder. It appears that a female cardinal got her neck wrapped up in the fishing line, and was strangled and is now hanging out there like an exquisite corpse waiting to be extracted. There was a snow storm last night, a couple of inches, could she perhaps have been making her way to the feeder early this morning and did not see the fishing line, flew into it, got caught, struggled, and got herself into a worse situation?

I used fishing line to hang the feeder because it seems to discourage the squirrels from getting the food. They chewed off the line once already, and this is the second time I have hung it. I guess when I go out to get the bird I'll see more closely what may have happened. I feel awful if it was my fault. It never occurred to me that the line could be a problem for the birds. We know what a problem it is for critters of the ocean; I guess critters of the sky hate it too.

11.30am. Went out and checked and removed the bird. I'm pretty sure she didn't see the clear fishing line, flew into it, and got her wing caught. Her neck seemed broken. She's so beautiful, even with her body so cruelly fractured.

The top two picture actually belong here, but I can't figure out how to move them down the page. Cut and paste doesn't work.

Secret of Happiness

Is often in the details. I can drive around in my lunky car, hating the cold, sharp chill, then spot a thing, spot a thing amidst everything else that just jumps out at me, and wants to be honored by having its pretty picture taken. One of the nice things about blogging is the ability to share such sights with others.

Happy Birthday, E.

Coming of Age Day

Tomorrow. In Japan. National Holiday.

************************
Coming of Age (seijin no hi)

The Coming of Age festival is celebrated on the second Monday of January (it used to be celebrated always on January 15 until the year 1999). Its Japanese name is Seijin no hi. All young people who turn twenty years old in that year are celebrated on Seijin no hi. Twenty is the age considered as the beginning of adulthood. It is also the minimum legal age for voting, drinking, and smoking.
Celebrations are held nationwide in every town with most of the people turning 20 participating in formal dresses. Seijin no hi is a national holiday.

More on the topic:

http://english.ohmynews.com/articleview/article_view.asp?article_class=5&no=339549&rel_no=1

*************************

It's also niece E's birthday. Happy Birthday, NEESE EEEEEEEEEE!

More Snow

What a shock. More snow. In the midwest too, as exhibited in this photo of niece with good knees having winter fun.

Bindi bolted out the door yesterday morning and I spent an hour before a neighbor was able to help me get her. I even called in the animal control guy from the end of the street. She absolutely has cabin fever and was out on the prowl in yesterday's two seconds of sun. It was exhausting, esp. since I can't move fast in order to run her down, and because I'm a dufus for not training her better to come when called. She's what we in polite society call "a dickens." I would just let her wander but there is a road here, not terribly busy, but she is small, and the cars are big and might not see her.

A friend today called me "doll," and a neighbor called me "dear." I like thost niceties.

The ice storm from other other day broke my windshield wiper so I had to spend yesterday afternoon at the Subaru place having it fixed. They were very nice there, and it didn't take all that long. You can't drive a car without a workable windshield wiper in this weather.

It's all crusty and cold and sharp and wholely uninviting in the outside world. I started going thru my old files today and managed to fill two large grocery bags with paper, etc. to recycle. That's not even 1/500 of what I need to go thru, but it's a start and I feel proud of that.

Made homemade chocolate chip cookies yesterday. I miss the days when we would make them with shortening. Butter isn't the same. I want my trans fats!

The above is a Chihuahua Yardbird, made by a company in Kentucky that recycles parts and makes these crazy critters. Junkyard dogs and cats. This was a present for my birthday/retirement from K & L.

Jalapeno

My good lookin' dog.

Still life with pineapple.

Sun and road and snow.

Sisters

My 13 year old niece with her baby sister. Such pretty girls.

Sleepy day today. Took a long nap. Still not wanting to go out in the cold, but supposed to be close to 40 tomorrow. Got an email from another friend from 30 years ago. Upcoming busy week after the relative calm of the "holidays."

Remember that movie with Tom Cruise called "Minority Report," where the cops could tell you were going to commit a crime before you did it? Well, there was a report on 60 Minutes about huge advances in brain scans that can reveal all sorts of intentionality in people. It's too freaky, man.

Flydog

One of my favorite photos from the birthday retirement party. The ceiling was covered with helium filled balloons, a tradition in the M & S family for birthdays and celebrations. One of the kids there, about 10 years old, began tying balloons onto Bindi's harness, I guess to see how many it would take to levitate her. Well, S. got very put out, since she had spent so much time positioning the balloons, and went to sulk under the dining room table and would not come out. So I told the other ten year old, you have to take the balloons off Bindi. No one was happy in that little drama, but I got a great picture out of it.

It's Really a Dunkin' Donuts

Channel 433 on cable tv has programming called "Soundscapes," which is contemporary easy to listen to music. Trying to figure out a new term besides "New Age." I also like Light Classical, and of course the 70s channel. Only figured out Comcast offered this about six months ago. K. coming over to eat leftover food from when Max was here. Dog play and some organic wine drinking. Dahl with brown rice, already roasted chicken, pineapple chutney homemade. Already some of the house plants are covered in bugs and I sprayed them all before I brought them in from outside. What a pain. The lemon verbena barely made it through last winter and it's having the same trouble this year. Covered with aphids even tho I've done the horticultural spray and pepper spray treatments. Think I have to throw it in the shower and give it a good rinsing. It's still cold, in the 30s and I have no desire to go outside. Bindi neither, tho she would walk if I went with her. We'll never know till the temp goes up about 8 degrees. Want to see that new niece of mine, want to go to Florida's warm water before my knee surgery. Do not want to go through this knee surgery thing, but have to get it out of the way. I'm gonna be really pissed off in ten years when they have completely non invansive ways of dealing with this problem and the recovery is minimal. Uck.

Photo of a very discreet McDonalds not too far from here. Every franchise should be so subtle.

Max from the Hague

is visiting. He's sick. So I fed him chicken soup and brownies, and he's in bed hacking his lungs up. We'll spend an elderly new year's eve making dal from an old friend's recipe, and channel surfing. Have invited some friends over, but doubt any of them will wanna go out either. He said I looked very Dutch with my new haircolor, Cinnaberry. As if. He wants to get a lemon zester when he is here. My friend from Ireland was taken with my potato peeler. Do these Euroguests have a thing for small kitchen gadgets? Do you think if I send Irish a potato peeler in the mail to Ireland that it would be confiscated because there is a blade in there? I love being retired, love being able to worry about such things.

Photo: Sunset in the yard a few days ago.

Global Melting

http://www.reason.com/http://www.reason.com/blog/show/130660.html

Real Winter Solstice Holiday Trees Better for the Environment Than Artificial Ones
Ronald Bailey
December 19, 2008, 10:46am
At least, that's according to a study reported by Terra Daily:

A Canadian sustainable energy company in Montreal says real Christmas trees have less of an environmental impact than reusable artificial trees.
The company, which uses no capitals in its name, ellipsos inc., said its analysis in a Life Cycle Assessment found real trees generate 6.8 pounds of greenhouse gases compared with 17.8 pounds for an artificial tree per year.
"The results are astonishing", ellipsos President Jean-Sebastien Trudel said in a release. "Considering that the artificial tree is reusable for many years, one would think that this choice is best since the natural tree requires annual trips to purchase it."
Research process factors ranged from the extraction of raw materials to travel to marketing and purchase to disposal, the company said.
The study found an artificial tree would need to be kept for at least 20 years to be equivalent to a real tree, although consumers keep an artificial tree for six years on average, the report said.

The foot of snow we had has nearly completely melted away. There's a huge winter house fly that has taken up residence. Sometimes the animals get them, sometimes not.

Photo of leaves from a shamrock type plant in my house. Maroon leaves, small pink flowers. Purple leaf oxalis.

Photo of the country angel on my solstice bush.

Kwanzaa/Boxing Day (Canada, UK, Australia)

Dec. 26. Turns out "Boxing Day" is really a labor holiday, meant to throw a crumb to the lower classes historically. I thought I would freak out having no specific plans for Thursday. But I slept late, went out for Chinese food, watched "House" reruns. Felt fine.
My big day was Thursday the 18th, and I think I am still filled up from that.

NGUZO SABA
(The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa)

Umoja (Unity)
To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.
Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility)
To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.
Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.
Nia (Purpose)
To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
Kuumba (Creativity)
To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
Imani (Faith)
To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.
­ Maulana Karenga

Madonna and Child

Photo of my nieces by their dad.

Increasing Light

Remembering requires no longer being in the present.

Winter Solstice/Hanukkah

The day and night are of equal lengths. From now on, the daylight will increase in preparation for new growth in the Spring.

Hanukkah, "the Jews rededicated their holy temple. They did so by lighting the menorah with the oil that was just enough for one day but miraculously it burnt for eight consecutive days, until more pure oil could be brought."

Again, the idea of increasing light.

Photo is a decoration in my foyer. Angel graced the garden all summer. Holly from a local tree.

Winter Solstice Eve

These are my buddies who came to my birthday/retirement party on Dec. 18

It's My Birthday

These photos are from the day before yesterday on Route 17 and 68, coming home from my 1 1/2 hour
massage.
























Had a great birthday/retirement party in Guilford last night. (It's 2.30am on the 19th already).

Yosemite in November

Half-Dome.

The Cathedral .

El Capitan - The Captain.

Niece and beau by the Merced river.

Nature dance.

Fancy lodge in the park. $450/night.

The forest.

El Capitan