Rumi

Rumi: an 800th birthday party
With bestselling poet Coleman Barks and
Grammy Award-winning musicians Paul Winter and Glen Velez

NEW HAVEN – Just 800 years after his birth, Rumi, the Persian scholar who founded the Whirling Dervishes, is the top selling poet in America. On April 27, Rumi’s most famous translator, Coleman Barks, will read Rumi’s poems to musical accompaniment by Grammy Award-winners Paul Winter and Glen Velez. Also performing are Poet Laureates Lisa Starr and Marjory Wentworth.
Proceeds to benefit for Connecticut Food Bank.
Sun. April 27, 4-6 p.m

I have gathered a few women together to attend this event. Was drawn to it.

* * * *

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; Don't go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want; Don't go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep.
-Rumi

* * * *

Another perfect spring day yesterday. More yard work, again being amazed as the faces of the flowers open to the sun, with such color, such form. K. called out of the blue to invite me and Bindi to the dog park, a spontaneous get together, my favorite, and what a good time we had. So many wonderful canines, including a small black and white Papillon that I was enchanted by. A big dog aggressed on Bindi, didn't hurt her but frightened her, but her owner did not apologize, so we went home. Stopped at a couple of tag sales. Got a frame for Frances' art, had a piece of glass cut for it, now to find some background paper. Put my new table in the foyer which I am cleaning out, and what a difference it makes. So classy now. My knees hurt a lot.

In Memory of Sue

I am so sad. Through an unusual connection, Freecycle, I learned that Sue D'Antonio killed herself on March 29. She was the veterinary technician at the vet's office I used to go to when I lived in New Haven. I saw her frequently for years and years. She was the one who encouraged me to adopt DillBoy, even though I did not want a male cat. She let me take out of the office and show to a friend the Dr. Bob doll that was such a perfect likeness of him, and was precious to everyone there. She let me borrow a wire cage from the basement of the office when I brought Misty home as a kitten. She was a loving, beautiful spirit. All I could learn so far is that she was in a great deal of physical pain due to some illness. We cannot take anyone for granted. We cannot assume anyone is ok, even if they say they are. We must take care of one another in an intentional, conscientious way.

I took the paperwork to the lawyer today, whom I will consult with next week about my case against the university. Just doing that nearly brought me to tears. I could not wait to get out of town. I stopped at a tag sale near my street and bought a gorgeous picture frame for $1, and a tall table with drawer that I didn't really need, but wanted. Shop therapy I guess. The man, named Andy also, wanted $40 but let me have it for $25. It was so warm today. I raked leaves, went to the community garden, the pharmacy, Radio Shack, the supermarket. My 15 or so hostas that I got on Freecycle last fall are coming up strongly, as are the Asian lillies I transplanted from the community garden (I think) last fall as well. The landlord and his son came over last evening and took care of a couple of minor issues, including installing a doorbell for me and replacing the flood lights at the back of the house. His son, now 11, has been a vegetarian for six years. There is a small leak in the washing machine, and if it continues, we'll get the repair person. Good, as then perhaps the gentle cycle can be made operational. The gentle cycle can be restored. Restore the gentle cycle. Recycle gentleness. Restore gentility. Gentleness restored. Restorative gentleness. Recycle. Be gentle. Restore yourself and others.

Today is Tobi-wan's 7th birthday.

Mo-Mo

K. and Mo-Mo came to visit, and a great time was had by all! Mo-Mo is a four month old grey beagle and he and Bindi romped and ate treats and drank water out of the cleaned fish bowl I got from the bulk trash last week. K. and I trashed the ivory tower, and extolled the sanity of mental illness.

I had a massage earlier not far from my house. A new person. She was pretty good, but she was playing razor blade music on the cd. If I go back to her, I'll take my own cd. And when I went to pay out front I was told it was $65, not $60 as I had been told on the phone, so I did not like that, esp. since you are expected to leave a tip. And then their credit card machine wouldn't print me a receipt.

K. was driving a Prius which she likes very much. I also liked a Toyota Matrix that I saw. Will drive both of them and see. Prius is much more expensive, but I guess you save the difference on gasoline.

Max called again from the Hague, before his trip to Kenya, but I missed the call.

Dodgy Tum

Just bought this gorgeous dahlia (in tuber form) on Ebay. This variety is very hard to find, and is what I think I've seen in others' gardens and lusted after. It's called Dahlia Cafe au Lait. Also ordered blue freesia bulbs, and a caladium, which is a great shade plant. Of course all the bulbs have to be dug up in the winter in this zone, but worth the effort.

Ok, put on your best Brittish accent and say, "Does the doggie have a dodgy tum?" That means, is her stomach upset. Was watching a training show on the telly just now, made in Britain, and a woman was talking about having to use fish as treats for her dog cause his stomach gets upset easily, and she complained that it was expensive to do that. The trainer said it needn't be, as treats are now made for dogs with "dodgy tums."

Was searching online recently for "manatee cotton fabric," and my blog showed up on page four of the Google search. Ha!

Busy day of errands yesterday. Can't remember if I already told this story in another blog entry, but here it is again. An old friend from New Haven contacted me, wanting to know if I had any photos from the 1970s of the group of feminists we were part of. I did. She was going to be in town when I was in Florida, so I found the photos, put them in an envelope and dropped them thru the mail slot of the house of a mutual friend whom I knew she would be seeing while I was gone. While I was in Naples, I got this call on my cellphone from someone who said her mother had found an envelope on the ground under her car parked on the street, with my name and cell phone number in the return address section. I was perplexed. I said, is the envelope open, is there anything in it? Well, it was indeed unopened, and yes, my precious 30 year old photos were inside. I don't have the answer to this mystery yet, but again my GAs were on duty, and I was able to get the photos back from the woman yesterday. Amazing. Grace.

Went to the dry cleaners to drop off the beautiful wool blanket I got at a thrift store in Naples, and it took twice as long cause I took Bindi in, and one of the women there went gaga over her, got on the floor, and they were playin' playin'. Went to CVS for script refills. Had lunch from Gourmet Heaven, the best hot/cold food bar in town. Picked up a beautiful photo album from a freecycler, took Bindi to a newish dog park where some jerk was letting his big dog bully everyone else, so I and another woman with her dog left. Then took Bindi across the street to play with R.J.

My acupuncturist has advised that we stop the acupuncture on my knees since it does not seem to be working. We're both disappointed. We will now work on detoxifying my body. And I'll go back to the orthopod and get plastic shot into my knee joints for a temporary fix. Ugh.

Poison Arrow

Poison Arrow Plant also known as Climbing Oleander, photo taken at Naples Zoo.

Had lunch with M & S yesterday, and her friends M, K, & K, whom I like very much. K & K are twins, boy and girl, about S's age, and they had a bunch of stuffie animals dressed in diaphanous (sp) green fabric and said they were spring peepers. How cute is that? I had brought over a pan of homemade brownies which were a big hit. Bindi and I took a short trip to the beach before going over to look for beach glass, but didn't find much. Mostly green and brown, you know the beer bottle stuff. Had a funny conversation in the local small food market with a young man who was crouching on the ground by the cash register cause he was tired of standing, and I said, as usual, "There's a Seinfeld episode about that," and he knew exactly which one I was talking about! I told him and the other cashier that it was nuts that they weren't given stools to sit on, they agreed, and I said I would call the manager. Of course I won't use their names, and I'll wait a couple of days. If I had the wherewithall (? - I never hear anyone use that word anymore), I'd develop a "cashier's stool," market it, and make my millions. Then I could buy one of those fancy mansions on the beach in Naples, FL, and live out my days watching pelican and dolphin and killer sunsets from the comfort of my perfectly air conditioned art studio. From the interest on my millions, I would develop a "doggie water park" there, just for dogs, with grass and fresh water ponds and pools and slides and trees, all just for dogs. I'd make sure all the existing old septic tanks were removed and replaced or hooked up to the city water purification system, so that the red tide would never come again.

Preposterous

That's the word that was in my head when I woke up from a nap. Can't remember my dreams clearly, but, you know, more of the same. Anxiety, mild to severe, in the dreams/day-mares, the content doesn't even matter. Perhaps that's why I haven't been able to nap since the SHTF at the university job.

Got back on Thursday night, after a smooth ride. Had three seats to myself on the plane. On time. So glad I bagged it the day before with the six hour delay. They no longer serve food for free on a three hour flight, so I treated myself to a decent cheese/fruit/cracker snack for $6. With my complimentary tomato juice on ice with lemon.

Big meltdown today. Max called me from the Hague, and I just burst into tears. He just listened and then I told him to send me some good Buddha quotes. He has, but I haven't read them yet.

Spring has arrived in New England, some consolation for the loss I feel being back here, and facing the impending departure of R & F. I am so very sad they are leaving. My poor little heart, broken once again. I envisage it as a beautiful vase that has fallen and shattered into so many pieces, which I have then proceded to put back together with crazy glue. Yes, it is intact, the fissures are sealed with that gooey madness cement, but still. It is not the same as if it had never been broken too many times.

Yesterday I went food shopping, then to the garden center, then scrounged around in some of the bulk trash on the streets and found a few little treasures. A jade green ceramic bulb dish. Three pots of last fall's mums that are beginning to sprout (many people treat them as annuals.) One of those old fashioned glass fish bowls like my mom used to have. I toyed with for about three seconds the idea of getting a Beta fish for it, but will use it for my collection of shells and sea glass from my travels. A wire cake rack. About twenty yards of turquoise fabric still on the bolt which will become an art project and then a swag curtain. A tiny foot stool that will become an art project. Kind of cheered me up.

The photo: a cassia tree in bloom in Naples, FL. Not too far from Scott's place. He is moving again. So are his parents, to a place with orange, grapefruit, and loquat trees in the yard. I ate a pink grapefruit right off the tree when S. took me there for a look-see. It doesn't get much better than that.

Anole Brown Lizard

This is the little critter living on Scott's lanai, under the pot shard. I took this image off a website, but have taken some photos myself, hoping I have gotten a good shot.

I tried to make it home today, but after getting to the Fort Myers airport and waiting waiting waiting for a plane from New York that never took off, I am back at Scott's for the night and will try again tomorrow. My 12.20 flight wasn't scheduled to leave till 6.00, and I couldn't keep myself and Bindi stranded for that long, when the plane hadn't even taken off from it's NY destination. Aaarrggh. And I couldn't even schedule anything else on a partner airline since American cancelled all its flights today so all the available seats on everything else were taken.

Went to Bambusa for dinner last night. Coconut shrimp and vegetarian black bean burgers. Yum yum. Our young waiter said to me, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Nathan Lane?" Whaaa? When I was 18, people used to say I looked like a young Natalie Wood. Now I look like Nathan Lane? Whatever. He also felt the need to show us his new composition computer program, and give us samples of the music he was creating. Well, I praised his efforts, but the guy has absolutely no future in electronic music composition.

Beautiful crescent moon last night.

Dog Park Drama

Took the dogz to the Naples dog park after mailing home to myself some things I bought at thrift stores while down here. (Otherwise Delta would charge me $80 for the second check-in bag!) I was having a nice conversation with a man with a fluffy mixed breed, when another man with a beautiful boxer joined us. As we began talking, which is so very easy here, John, the man with the boxer, told us the story of his family moving into a brand new expensive house, only to have his wife and two children become ill, his wife very seriously. He too was ill. After many visits to doctors, it was revealed thru inspection that his brand new home was badly constructed and completely inundated with two kinds of very toxic mold. His wife lost her hair, and after being misdiagnosed with everything from ovarian cancer to MS, they all had extensive blood tests that finally diagnosed the various ailments they were all suffering from. Apparently the new housing here is often cheaply built. John and his family are now living in a rented condo, their beautiful house has to be demolished, his wife is unable to work as a nurse, and he had to quit his job to take care of her and the kids. Of course a law suit is in the works, but moving very slowly. It was a heartbreaking story. He has created a website to warn others of what could happen to them: http://www.thenapleslemonhouse.org/.



While the three of us were talking, another man came in with a scraggly little dog and smoking a cigarette. I asked him if he would mind putting the cigarette out (as I don't like second-hand smoke even outside, and knew this would not be good for John). He said, "Can I smoke over there?" and pointed to a place in the park about 50 feet away. I said ok. He said, "I like to smoke." He moved, then changed his mind, said, "Come on, Izzy, we're out of here." He huffed out of the park, slamming the gates, and then, although I didn't see it, the guy with the fluffy white dog said he flipped us the bird as he left. What a jerk. I do not under any circumstances support a person's "right" to smoke near me. Do it in the privacy of your own home, or don't go out in public. I like the places, mostly in California right now, that forbid smoking even in many outdoor public venues.



Yesterday afternoon I went to get an hour and a half massage at a place called Massage Envy. A strong small Ecuadorian woman named Juana gave me a great massage, and I got the introductory rate of $57 for the hour and a half, which is unheard of. I gave her a big tip. I admitted I didn't know anything about Ecuador, so I asked her some questions while she worked. I had been at the beach prior to that. The water has warmed up even more in just the time I have been here. Tomorrow I go home. Today was mostly overcast, which was fine, as I've been trying to find out why S's computer is working so slowly, and have spent much phone time talking with the Toshiba tech support. I'd call the Grand Lunar but don't want to bother him. He'd know exactly what to do, you can bet on that.

S. has a small pot of cactus on his lanai and living under a shard of pottery is the most stunning reddish gecko. I believe he must be a mail as a day or so ago he was strutting the ruffle down the middle of his back and inflating the flap of brighter skin under his chin. Handsome guy. I think S. will try to move him with the cacti when S. relocates this month to a freestanding guesthouse next to his sister's rental. Right now he has some clompy (a word?) walker over his head in this apartment, which drives us both nuts. Fortunately I have learned to use earplugs.

Black Seersucker and Red Mangrove

I extended my stay here till Wednesday. Was not ready to go home April 3 as scheduled. So much to do, such fine weather this time of year. Yesterday afternoon S. and I drove about twenty minutes to Marco Island, to South Beach there, swam, had an hysterical conversation with two young women from New Jersey while lolling in the sea. They both had tatoos and the stories behind the acquiring of same had S. and me cracking up. Later I kept my eye on a little girl who was playing in the waves by herself, with no adult in near sight. I walked over to her, and we looked for shells together, her name was Emily. Cuban, I think. So sweet, so unprotected. She said no one would play with her. She pointed out her parents but they were quite a ways up the beach, and I've heard too many times that small kids can drown in seconds since their lungs are so small. I stayed with her till they called her to leave.

S. and I then went to Capri Fish House Restaurant on the Isles of Capri section of Marco. I had been there earlier in the day, after having discovered it on Saturday when I took a wildlife boat tour of the estuaries which stopped at the eatery for lunch. The food was some of the best I've had. I noticed some dogs on the small beach that day, and asked the guy in charge if I could bring my dog. Yee ha! [note to self: riddexplus] The boat tour was an educational ride highlighting the local birds, mangroves, oyster beds, environmental impact. Very very nice. The sunset cruise would be the one where we would see the most birds, coming in to roost at the evening, but finding a place to take Bindi into the salt water was worth seeing fewer birds than I would have liked. We did see herons, egrits, lots of osprey and their fledglings, pelicans, and seeing such a large parcel of protected land was encouraging. Amidst the development and weath in this area, every bit of conservation is precious.

When I took Bindi to Capri yesterday around noon, I was surprised to find a kayak festival taking place. There were scores of brightly colored kayaks, lots of people, which wasn't the optimal conditions for my dog, but she was a trooper and got into the water without much encouragement to a depth where she even "dog paddled" for a bit before becoming a bit overwhelmed by so much activity and stuff that we sat out with some folks in the shade. They bought me an iced tea. Perhaps its me, perhaps its the weather, perhaps its the region, perhaps its the beauty, but I've been having the best conversations with people, better than I've had in the northeast area for a very very long time. There's a lightness, a sense of helping one another, a brightness to the attitude that permeates.

In a discussion with three local guys, I made a contact with a man who regularly visits and camps on the Seminole reservation in the Everglades. He was very clear that one cannot get access to their reservation without being invited, but he said he has many Native American Seminole friends. I said, "Next time I am here, could I hire you to take me there?" He said, you don't have to hire me. I'll take you. He gave me his name and phone numbers. This felt like an extraordinary gift, and I'll keep track of that name and number with vigilence. People who do not bother to explore the natural world of Florida are missing some extremely special parts of this country.

I will not have time to visit the manatees this visit. But next.

I ate fettucini alfredo with grilled salmon last night, with a glass of white wine. You know how some alfredo sauce can be cloying and think and heavy? This was a dish prepared with with finesse. I could even taste the freshness in the salad. My new favorite place to eat.

More later. I'm off to the Naples Dog Center to buy Bindiloo a new harness and hopefully matching leash. A new softer design, which I hope won't bother her as much as the current one does.

Black seersucker? One evening S. and I went window shopping at tony Venetian Village, and a mannequin was dressed in a fabulously styled black seersucker jacket, with a jacquard white shirt underneath, paired with black linen pants. Wow. Then we went to Ben and Jerry's and pigged out.

Forecast: Warm and Sunny

Some drama in the apartment complex last night. The management seems to be discriminating against some of the renters, and already Suzie and Adam are talking about trying to buy a house, and they only moved in a month ago. And the man who moved in upstairs recently has a moving van outside already and is packing! Florida has its charms but this is not one of them.

Bad nighmares last night. Really bad. Extraordinary anxiety.

During my walk at the art fair on Saturday, which was mobbed with people, a huge branch of coconuts from a coconut palm on the sidewalk came crashing down. Amazingly, no one was hurt, but the pile of branches and coconuts was enormous. It was a bit of art in its self. Performance art, ha ha. A woman was selling her Sculpy salamanders which were completely detailed and lifelike, except that they were bright swirly colors. They were so cool. I'm doing pretty well at not buying things like that I see, so as not to keep accummulating stuff. But I sure did appreciate them. Ended up going to Oh My Gauze on 5th avenue and getting two cotton gauze camp shirts. The entire place was cotton gauze clothes, and it was full of women out of our minds with happiness. I told one of the saleswomen that this was the best store in town, and she said, "Say it louder," so I yelled, "THIS IS THE BEST STORE IN TOWN." Fun.

Went to the Naples Botanical Garden on Sunday. They were having a Brazilian theme, a juried flower arrangement show, and Jane Seymour the actor had been there on Saturday signing books and exhibiting her artwork. The best part was the Brazilian band, singer, and dancers, and the butterfly garden. Saw the green and brown crested wood partridges, and got to commune with a flamboyant conure. There were supposed to have been very large geckos hanging about, but they were hiding, or were camoflaged (sp) so well that not even the attendant could find them. There is a huge expansion of the Garden planned which will no doubt be magnificent.

Ate some Cuban food there from a vendor which was very good. I gaven them a tip, and the woman said that I was the first one to give a tip. I was astonished, esp. since this town is full of extremely rich people. The guy asked me where I was from, I said CT, and he said that he was flown in to North Stonington, CT, a few years ago to roast pigs, by someone who had been down here and tasted his food. Their motto is, "We will serve no swine before it's time." Corney, eh?

Greetings from Naples

Florida, not Italy. This is a beautiful city, mostly, stunning McMansions, astonishing landscaping, fancy shops. Spent most of the day trying to get S's computer up and running, then ended up at the Naples library using their computers. Will try something else tomorrow re: the computer. It may need more memory. Then went to the beach around 4:30, swam a while, found some pretty small corkscrew shells, talked to a client on the phone. Rushed home to make dinner for S. who was supposed to get off work at 8pm, but probably won't be back till 10.

Talked to Suzie and Adam, S's next door neighbors. They are so very nice. They have a miracle baby, Candace. She had open heart surgery 4 hours after she was born, and more surgery after. She was not expected to recover, but is now 11 months old, and although she still has a feeding tube in her stomach, Candace seems to be thriving. Adam was in Iraq for three years. They have a rat terrier named Playboy who Bindi has really been enjoying playing with. Bindi wants to play with Herman, but Herman doesn't seem very interested. Oh, Herman is S's chi mix.

Went to a thrift store today and found something a friend of mine has wanted but could not afford: a virgin wool ivory blanket in perfect condition. And a "beach sheet." Just a plain flat sheet that I take to the beach to put my towel on. It's lightweight and keeps the towel from getting sandy.

What else. Went to a nice bar with S, Bambusa. People were very friendly there, too. I do think people in the South are friendlier than people in the Northeast. Or maybe I'm just more outgoing when I am here. I think it's a combination of both. Went to a nice natural foods store, Wild Oats, which apparently is being bought by Whole Foods. Wish there was one near me in CT.

On Saturday I went to the local Farmer's market, which was small but charming. Bought organic vegetables, and some handmade soap, and saw seven of the most darling miniature Australian Shepard puppies. They were seven weeks old, fluffy, and very compelling. I'm sure they'll have no trouble finding good owners.

Ok, S. is home. More later.

The Kindness of Strangers

Went to the library to return two books, and picked up two more. A novel by Edmund White based on the life of Stephen Crane, and Joan Didion's memoir of her husband's passing. Then went to the pharmacy to fill some scripts. When I drove away, I head a weird clunking noise, got out and checked and found my right front tire flat. Fortunately, I was right next to a Mobil station, and even tho there were no mechanics working, the owner was there and put a plug in it and more air, at no charge, which got me to Town Fair Tire. I had already called the Geico road service people, but they told me it would be an hour to an hour and a half before someone would come.

Town Fair Tire's door was open but they has just closed. I said "What should I do?" They said PepBoys was open, and since it was right across the street I went there. They took me right away, and were unbelievably nice. I needed a new tire. I needed an oil change too, so they did that and the mechanic pointed out the oil leak in the engine block. He noticed my weatherstripping under my hood was hanging down by the fan and would mess up the fan belt so he fixed that too. And put in a new dome light bulb, all for about a hundred bucks, with a ten dollar rebate. And it didn't take very long at all. I had a long talk with one of the service guys about how Toyotas compare with Hyundais, and he had lots of good information. Bottom line is: if buying used, get a Toyota. If buying new, they are comparable now. My friend who I am visiting in Florida next week works at a Hyundai dealer, and I thought I could buy a car from him, if there was someway of getting it back up to CT without my having to drive it. Anybody got any ideas on the virtues of Toyotas vs. Hyundais?

Then I decided to go next door and have dinner at T.G.I. Fridays. A decent dinner, good service, and I started reading the Edmund White book. I kept noticing this guy who was circulating the dining room, some kind of worker there. I finally called him over and said, "Do people tell you that you look like Tom Cruise?" He was very humble and said, yes, and then proceded to ask me how my dinner was. I said the fish was a little oily, and he said he would tell the kitchen, so I guess he was a manager or something. I told him he was very pretty. He was quite gracious.

Then I drove home and as I got into the driveway I realized I had forgotten to return the copy of Ocean's Thirteen I had rented from the Stop and Shop (for a buck a night in one of those vending machines!). So I turned around and went back from where I had just been, and returned the cd. As long as I was there, I bought myself some red and yellow tulips.

Having brunch with Frances and Rachel tomorrow at 11am.

More nightmares last night. Driving off a cliff into an abyss, cats killed under the wheels of the car, getting lost while driving. A dying puppy. My dreams/nightmares are so transparent.

Vernal Equinox

Some of the kids in S's third grade play about the Oregon Trail.

And full moon tonight. The sky is very clear, it is way windy, so I think moon viewing will be excellent.

Went to the dentist today. We all had a good laugh when I started humming the wicked witch's tune from The Wizard of Oz when he was shooting me up with novocaine. My tolerance for those needles is decreasing incrementally to the increase in my age, like my tolerance for cold. Anyway, after making it very clear to me that I created the notches in a few teeth by brushing too hard, he prepared to fix them. The novocaine stayed with me for hours, which was an additional pain.

I chipped one of my very favorite bowls! I chip all my nice bowls, dammit. This bowl I got at Open Studies, an event where probably a hundred artists occupied rooms in a no longer used school, and the bowl is a pale turquoise speckled with brown spots that make it look like a robin's egg, and of similar shape. Small chip, but chip nonetheless. I have to accept that I'm a klutz, all my clothes have stains and all my bowls are chipped. Hmmm, good title for my memoir: All My Clothes Have Stains and All My Bowls Are Chipped, by yours truly.

Watched "The Namesake," on video last night with R. We both liked it. And watched "Ocean's Thirteen," this afternoon. That series is so funny, and has so many great actors in it: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Bernie Mac, Don Cheadle, Carl Reiner (yep, he's till alive), Elliot Gould, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino, Andy Garcia, and on and on. The plots are totally unbelievable, but who cares with all those pretty faces to look at?

It's tag sale season again, always a fun adventure for me. It's a great way to get to know the neighborhood.

Happy Spring

Yeah, sure. Supposed to get into the twenties tonight. Brrrrr.

Today I took care of a piece of business that I've put off for years. The social security administration still had me listed with my married name. And I couldn't get it changed until I had a copy of the divorce decree, which I finally got a few weeks ago. So I went to one of the SSA offices and made the change; the agent made some noises about needing a court paper that said my name was changed, but I came prepared with all sorts of i.d., like my passport, utility bills, driver's license, and she put the change thru. I think I put it off so long because retirement seemed so far away, but now that it is on the horizon, taking care of this detail was essential. Even after all the years I have worked I will, if I decide to start collecting social security payments at age 62, only get a little over a thousand dollars per month. I will have a pension and some IRA money and some savings, thank goodness. What about people who retire and only have social security to live on? It cannot be done. No wonder people are working well into their seventies.

Heard on NPR that the awful video of the US marines abusing a puppy which has been circulating on the internet has resulted in an investigation. One of my friends sent it to me, and I was very upset that he sent it, and told him never to send me such a thing again. They played the audio of the video on NPR today and I had to turn the radio off before it broadcasted. Makes me think that more videos of war and the people who are killed and tortured, on both sides, should be circulated so that we know exactly what is going on, in human terms.

The photos are of blooming plants in my house. The daffodil is really pretty, with ruffled petals surrounded by straight petals. The pink one is an amaryllis.

Misty has been unbelievably affectionate recently. R. says she's happier in this house. Camilla has been licking the fur off her lower belly and inside her back legs, which she began before I moved here. I think she finds Bindi being around very stressful, and I hate that she is upset, but I'm not sure what to do. I wish Camilla would just scratch Bindi aggressively a couple of times, and Bindi would leave her alone. Bindi only wants to play, but the cats want none of her.

More nightmares last night. R & F brought me a Tinkerbell from DisneyWorld, which is very dear. Tink is sitting with arms and legs crossed with a kind of annoyed look on her face, which is very fitting for me.

Window of Opportunity

Dr's appt this morning. Changing meds to see if there's a better result. This was the first time I had seen my dr's Corgi in her office, and as soon as I sat down the dog came over and put his head on my foot, and lay down. She said he is very empathetic. I was rubbing his head while she asked me how I was, and I started to cry. Not that great, I said. Am looking into extending my leave. PTSD. Got more news last week about how I was discriminated against. Can't get a break from the bad stuff, can't rest. Used to love my naps, now I can't.

Afterwards, went to Guilford to get a birthday present for a client. He knits, so I bought some skeins of llama yarn made from the groomed fur of the animals kept on the orchard grounds. It is a perfect gift. I hope it will be enough to knit a hat or some gloves or a scarf. $9 a skein. Is that a lot? Came from the llama named Iris.

Then to the hardware store, the best one in the area, incredibly helpful staff, small, old fashioned. Got my mop/broom handle holder, and some bottle of chemicals to clean my flat glass topped stove. Then a cappacino and bagel at the coffee shop while reading the paper. Then to the vet to get Bindi's nails clipped and her AGE, which were full. Saw one of the staff there who I've talked with many times, and she is having a very hard time trying to get out of her marriage. Cannot find a place for her and her sons to move to. I felt so badly for her, and encouraged her to get some support. She wants to stay in the area but cannot find anything she can afford. She knows that's why I ended up where I am, because I could not afford the shoreline. I miss it so much. I feel calmer there. Met a tiny nine week old pug named Lila who was totally cute.

Saw my dentist who said I should see an oral surgeon about my tongue. He suggested that the biopsy might not have been as traumatic if an oral surgeon had done it. Everybody has a different opinion. The thing is still sore.

A little over a week before I go to Florida. Can't wait. R & F are in Disneyworld right now. I told them to bring me a teeny tiny Tinkerbell.

Jigs and Samson

Dog park today where there were two small poodles, black and chocolate, and two mutts, Maddie and Roxie. Bindi loved the poodles and they played and played. I think they reminded her of her boyfriend R.J. next door, who is a poodle her size.

Got a bill for the oil heat for $481 for one month! That's nuts, and my thermostat never gets turned up to 70. I think 68 is the highest I've gone, and at night I turn it down to 55. I know being home more during the day has something to do with it, and the windows in the house are not sealed very well, but sheesh. Car fuel is $3.30 and rising. Florida is looking better and better, esp. not having to pay heating bills.

Had lunch at Ikea with Rachel, and bought some scissors. Don't know if they are any good. I'm so unimpressed with Ikea. I also needed a certain size lightbulb and a set of stainless steel measuring cups, and they had neither.

Scored big off Freecycle: a nice walking cane, as I have misplaced the one I had, and a really swell white iron round patio table with four matching chairs all in great condition.

Had dinner with M & S last night; S was really sweet - she made me a decorated grocery list pad to put on the fridge, and gave me a warm hug goodbye. Going to her school play tomorrow. Something about the Oregon Trail.

Is it bad for me to put my computer in my checked bag for a flight, or is that too risky, both tech wise and stealing it wise?

Going to another chihuahua meetup on Saturday; not many people have signed up. Hope Bindi behaves herself.

Had dinner for six last Saturday. Nice, but what a lot of work! Clean the house, buy the food, prepare the food, make sure everybody has what they need. I had salad, vegetable stir fry with tofu, cauliflower in cheese sauce. Next time I'm ordering in pizza. Two of the guests brought the most amazing cheese; absolutely delicious. Better be, at $19/lb. There are a couple of new fancy cheese shops in town.

For some ridiculous reason it's going to take two weeks to get my tongue thingie paperwork authorized and sent to the doc from whom I want a second opinion. So I had to change the appt. with the second doc till April. That's not right, but I didn't have the energy to fight it.

Photo of IKA being her graceful athletic self. You go, girl!

Eight Things.

One of my blogger buddies wants me to list the eight things I want to do before I die. That's a hard one, but here's what my list is as of this day. Could change, so don't hold me to it.

1. Raise a baby gorilla.

2. Have a private jet take me to Machu Picchu, get a private tour with no other tourists around.

3. Know what words like "gainsaid" mean when I'm reading.

4. Feel healthy and vibrant. Fall in love again and die before that person does.

5. Be closer to everyone in my family, and have them be more communicative and attentive to me.

6. Swim naked in the warm ocean for as long as I want.

7. Visit Australia zoo, and the spirit of Steve Irwin.

8. Take a ride in a hot air balloon.

Those are the eight things. For today.

I'm Still Here

One of my munchkins under a tree.

Signed up today to be a volunteer at the animal shelter.

Sent a package to France.

Ordered Carrots Love Tomatoes and Roses Love Garlic.

Had Frances for four days.

Bad woman is leaving the university.

All I do is go to dr's appointments.

More snow coming.

Going to Naples, FL, at the end of March.

Wrote another poem about my dad.

Reading The Noonday Deamon.

Made homemade brownies.

Was told that head cancer is increasing in women, possibly due to diet sodas.

Getting a second opinion on my tongue thingie.

Can't get in touch with my friend in Spain.

I think Tilda Swinton is gorgeous.

Have an infestation of aphids on my house plants.

Bought a Three Graces garden gazing globe stand that's so heavy I can't get it out of my car!

Going to a one man performance tomorrow night.

Can't find my 9x9 baking pan.

Ty stuffies have gone the way of online Webkinz.

Bought a dog toy that is GUARANTEED indestructible!

Have you ever gone night swimming in a lake or ocean?

Can I transfer my computer songs to an IPod?

I want the MacBook Air.

Changing my bed sheets always feels like a monumental achievement.

Chihuahua Meetup cancelled for tomorrow due to an expected 2 inches of snow; wusses.

Got the new Primary Care Physician I wanted.

Am finishing another collage box.

Mood: up and down.

Medications: up.

Bindi, DOWN! Good dog.

Baby Misty

JP said that I no longer mention my cats, they have no blogger personality. Well, here you go JP. Didn't you actually come with me to the shelter when I picked up Misty for the first time? This is my old friend R., who doesn't even care for cats, but she looked so lovely in her tie-dyed shirt, that a photo of her holding baby Mist seemed the thing to do. This was taken in the shelter about a week before I adopted her I think. We just went for a visit. In the words of dear departed Steve Irwin, "Isn't she go-geous?!" Odd, I can't remember Misty much as a kitten (like I can't remember Bindi much as a puppy), but this is a beautiful reminder.

Happy Valentine's Day, all, and a special shout out to K., whose birthday is today. Hope it's a good one.

I have the movie Chocolat on in the background. I'd like to live with Juliet Binoche and Johnny Depp, just so I could look at their intensely lovely faces each day. Oh, and it's a wonderful film, too. Perfect for the day.

Watched Steve Martin's Shop Girl on dvd last night. A sweet movie, with extraordinary photography of Los Angeles, which I never think of as an attractive city, but then I've never been there. Clair Danes is so much better now that she is older. Also watched Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio and Djimon Hounsou, a disturbing but I think true-ish account of the Sierra Leone illegal diamond trade. Buying diamonds is so problematic. Does anyone know if diamonds are still stockpiled and only a certain amount allowed on the market so as to keep the price high, as is portrayed in the movie?

I get my tongue biopsy results tomorrow. Check this site for the info. Shout out to EGV: what were your biopsy results?

Can't find my scissors. If anyone ever wants to send me a gift, scissors is a good one. I need a pair in each room.

Sun is out today. Time to go visit the road's water feature with the canine.

And finally, to all lurkers: POST A COMMENT, PLEASE!! K. is usually the only one who does, and I'm very grateful to her, but come ON!

Chi Town

And not the one in the middle of the country. These photos are from the Chihuahua Meetup Group on Feb. 2. It was kind of lame: the organizers had no toys for the dogs, no drinks for the owners. It was kind of fun anyway. Next time I'll bring a bunch of toys.

Cold

I've got a cold. Fortunately, I have nothing scheduled for this day, so can lay low. The nutritionist I used to see called me this morning, just to check in. I told her about the thing on my tongue, and she said it sounded like oral lichen planus. She's very very smart, and I learned a great deal from her. I googled lichen planus, and sure enough, it sounds (and looks) like what I have. I won't post a photo since some of you were grossed out by my blood mandala. Wusses. The biopsy is tomorrow, so should have a diagnosis soon.)

M & S came for dinner last night. Had S's favorite menu: turkey hotdogs, cauliflower, and potatoes. She ate a ton! She didn't even want her dessert. She told me she is getting two mice tomorrow, one white and one black. She doesn't have names yet. I told them stories about my childhood pets, Homer, and Cleo, and several others, hamsters and gerbils. I liked them very much.

Just saw this in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/health/07diabetes.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin

You know how when you get an amaryllis bulb and it's so beautiful when it blooms, but you can never get it to bloom again? Well, I've got two from years past blooming again. I think it's because I kept fertilizing the bulbs before they went dormant, as that's what provides the energy for the plant to bloom again. Yea, me!
I rock as a gardener. Both me thumbs be green. (I won't tell you about the plants I've lost from trying to find the right windows for them here. I'm trying to keep at least one double lavender/pink tropical hibiscus alive, but I don't know.

















The Metaphor of My Father's Coat

I've been wearing it
The buttons have been
one by one
falling off
The thread old and weak
I sew them back on.

There is no lining
No inner layer
although once it existed
the lonely zipper
runs along the inside edge
with a memory
perhaps
of a warm protective interior lamina

What I miss most about my father
is not having known
his closeted self
The qualities I imagined
longed for
believed were present

I wear his coat
Allow molecules
particles of the past
his past his life
embedded in the cloth
to skim my exterior

Lacking a lining
it's all I have left.

Haunts

Today I was very sad. Had nightmares last night which left me feeling ill at ease this morning. Couldn't shake it. Went to pick up some things at the pharmacy, and began crying about two events in my past, way far back, that I haven't been quite able to resolve. Fortunately, I saw my acupuncturist this afternoon and she was soothing.

A rose is a rose, and so much more

Let's start the new month with something beautiful -- a photo of the roses that M. brought to Bindi's birthday party. Shout out to everybody: when you need a surefire great gift, bring a dozen roses to someone. Huh, I just noticed that this configuration of roses is a mandala itself. And of course, each individual bloom is also a mandala. I am so drawn to the form, and it appears everywhere.

Had lunch with MS yesterday. She's so great, but is being wildly exploited at her job. Then I went to the dog park with the Bindster and ran into a massage therapist I went to once, a long time ago. I always go to women, but one day when I just walked in to see if anyone was available, he was the only one. And while I was on the table, and telling him about the tension in his neck, he made a very inappropriate comment that the weight of my breasts might contribute to my neck tension. I never went back to him. I've been to a lot of massage therapists, and never has anyone made a comment like that. Uck. Then, when we were chatting in the dog park while our dogs ran around, I told him about spending $3,000 on having Bindi's knees operated on. He said, "I'm very pragmatic. I would have put her down." I was kind of shocked, and felt it was a very cold thing to say to me. Again, uck. He said, "There's always another dog that needs adopting. They're not children." Puke. I mean, sure, if you don't have the money, or you're not attached to the animal, perhaps this would be the best option. But most people I know with animals are attached to them, and would go to great lengths to maintain the life of the animal who means so much to them. And he had this amazingly gorgeous dog, an Australian cattle dog/some kind of shephard mix.

Today I'm going to register to vote in this new town, then take S.'s birthday present to her (thanks, IKEA!), and pick up my new glasses frames, the red wire rimmed ones. I need the lenses replaced in my every day glasses, my computer glasses, and my reading glasses. That's not gonna be cheap.

To be against happiness is to embrace ecstasy. Incompleteness is a call to life. Fragmentation is freedom. The exhilaration of never knowing anything fully is that you can perpetually imagine sublimities beyond reason. On the margins of the known is the agile edge of existence. This is the rapture, burning slow, of finishing a book that can never be completed, a flawed and conflicted text, vexed as twilight.

Eric Wilson

Against Happiness: In Praise of Meloncholy

Blood Mandala

I made art in the sink during one of my nosebleeds. Sheeeesh. Hope you don't find it too gross.

Well, the hits keep a comin'. Today I saw my ENT doctor, after my naturopath told me to have her check out a lesion on the back of my tongue, on the side. The ENT doc said, "I don't like the way that looks," and I'm scheduled for a biopsy Feb. 8, the same day my sis is having her knee surgery. I've been so good with my diet lately, and now this. My naturopath thinks this lesion is related to an overgrowth of yeast in my body, but we'll see.

I'm currently reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. So glad I can get into it.

Was too tired to check out the community chorus last night, but hope to next week.

Critters are well. Bindi loves her stuffed squeaky lamb that she got for her birthday. We play tug of war with it and we both growl at one another. Very satisfying.

Birthday Kak

Remember Martin Short as the wedding planner in "Father of the Bride," with Steve Martin and Diane Keaton? Short's character had some really bad accent, and pronounced cake "kak." Martin's character would screwed up his face perplexed and annoyed, having no idea what the wedding planner just said. Very funny movie.

Anyhoo, this is the photo of the kak I had for Bindi's birthday party. I think it's hysterical. It came out beautifully, although the cake part itself was not the tastiest. And here's a photo of the poster I had made for "pin the tail on the chihuahua."


















I took to the appropriate government offfice yesterday my rebuttle to their response to my original complaint. My rebuttle consisted of a seven page cover letter/narrative, and thirteen exhibits attached. I do not feel attached to the outcome. I am just very glad that everything is documented officially. Have to deliver a copy to the university general counsel's office today.

Have gone almost a week with no sugar except for the tiniest amounts in some granola and some muffins someone gave me. But no binging on Haagen Daz Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Extra Rich Light. Yeah, sure. Those binges make me so sick.

Found a salon near me that will give a decent haircut for $20. Closer than the other place that charged $18. Still, both are better than the $50 I would pay when I lived on the shoreline. That's nuts for someone with hair as short as mine. And horrors! Yesterday morning when I looked in the mirror I had a grey eyebrow hair sticking straight out from my brow. Man, did that make me feel old. Time to get them trimmed.

The squirrels completely distroyed the suet feeder I had hung from a tree outside. Those rascals are unbelievable. I'm sitting in my bed as I write this, watching through my big window the birds and squirrels cavorting outside. It's supposed to be warm today, in the 40s. I'll take Bindi for a walk soon.

Shoutout to Mihaela: here's a photo of my dining room:

Dr. King

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King Jr.
US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

I fear that if a liberal Black man is elected president, he will be assassinated. And I'm sure Obama has considered that.

Bindi's party on Saturday was a success, and fun was had by all. I of course was not as ready as I would have liked, but it didn't seem to matter. I was so happy to have my friends come over, as my leave has officially been extended to June 12, and I won't see them as often as before, at least the university ones.

Found this phrase in a movie review in The New Yorker: [she] ". . . exudes malevolence swathed in good cheer and family feeling." That's exactly what my supervisor does. Uck.

My poor sis is having her knees operated on this Friday. She was having a great deal of pain, and after an MRI and a diagnosis of torn miniscus (minisci?) in both knees, immediate surgery was the treatment prescribed. And I thought I would be the first one of us to go under the knife for bad knees. Although I believe her problem is treatable thru this surgery, unlike mine, which will require knee replacement in the not too distant future. Note to family members reading this: Send her cards, flowers, chocolates, and good healing love and energy. I love her. I will never be able to thank her enough for the years that she kept in touch with me even when I would not return phone calls, or write back, or visit. She was constant, and that is a precious gift.

My beloved house plants are struggling in the new place. They were very stressed by the move, and while the house has many windows, there is not a lot of direct sunlight coming in thru them, and many of the plants are weak and infested with little critters. If I can get them through six more weeks, I'll be able to put them outside during the day when it is warm and they should recover.

Watched Evening on dvd this evening. A good chick flick, mostly women, about dying and family, and choices made in youth, that sort of thing. Vanessa Redgrave, Toni Collette, Natasha Richardson, Clare Danes, Meryl Streep, Glen Close, and a bunch of guys. Great cast.

Fascinating case on Nip/Tuck last night. I know I know, the show is absolutely depraved and I rarely watch it anymore, but did yesterday. A woman survivor of a suicide bomber explosion who was having her face reconstructed from being so badly burned began to feel that the anger and hatred of the bomber had gotten inside her body, and had been told by previous doctors that schrapnel consisting of human bone fragments from the bomber himself had lodged itself in various parts of her body, and they weren't removed at the time of her injury as her doctors told her the schrapnel would work itself to the surface of the skin and then be easier to extract. She demanded that the plastic surgeons working on her face remove them, and they did. One doctor wanted to consider the bits medical waste, but the other one said it was human remains and the family should be contacted. Bizarre. I have never heard of such a thing, and maybe it's completely made up, but what a premise.

It is horribly cold here. I don't like it.

Bindi's Day

Why do I plan these things? Seven hours till party time and the house is still a mess. AARRGGHHH! And I still have to make the food! Double aarrgghh aarrgghh!
But here's a nice photo Bluebird took of Bindi at Thanksgiving.

GAs on Duty Again

So I'm driving to the consignment shop after the therapist and the acupuncturist and dropping off the leave extension papers, and I get to the intersection where I am to turn left, but the light is green, with no left turn arrow. The car in front of me turns left anyway and gets hit head on by the car in the other lane. BANG!! I am horrified watching these two smallish cars crumple in front of me while hoping they don't swerve out of control and hit me, but I put on my parking break and rush out of my car to see how I can help. The engine of the car that made the turn was either steaming or smoking, I don't know which, and one of the young women could not get out of the car. I'm rushing around trying to help her, another guy shows up on the scene who has called 911, these two young women are hysterical, and I'm in crisis mode trying to get everybody onto the curb and warm. One woman is bleeding from her mouth, but miraculously no one was seriously hurt. The cops came right away, and I had to tell him what I saw. The young woman bleeding from her mouth said she had no medical insurance so didn't want to go to the hospital and was crying that it was her sister's birthday, apparently the woman driving the car. The birthday girl was scared that her father would be very angry, and I said, he'll just be relieved that you are both ok, but she said, no, he will be very angry. The woman in the other car said her knees hurt. She seemed tall and was likely pushed into the dashboard, but said she wasn't hurt badly. My car is still parked in the middle of the four lane road with Bindi inside. After I was sure everyone was relatively ok, and the EMTs had arrived, I moved my car, and went on to the consignment shop, where I bought a red raincoat I had my eye on since last weekend, and some tops for my niece in Paris.

This is another push for me to get a new car. My 1990 Toyota Corolla has no airbags, and it could have easily been me in that car crash.

Then I'm driving back home and hear on NPR a story about a canine cop named Striker, who was killed in the line of duty, in California, when he apprehended a perp on a bridge, and the perp, in an effort to get away, jumped off the bridge, Striker still hanging on, doing his job. The perp survived the 200 foot fall; Striker did not.

Water Feature

When I moved here, there was a dry stream bed about a block down the road from my house. With all the rain and snow, the stream is full and flowing and very lovely. Bindi and I always visit it on our walks, and when the weather gets warm, I hope to be able to take Bindi down to the water for a refreshing dip. I miss the shoreline terribly, but at least I have my water feature very nearby . . .

I take the paperwork in today to have my leave extended another four months. A great relief, although I am feeling much sadness about all that has transpired. I saw in the local paper yesterday that a local animal shelter needs volunteers to help with the kitties and doggies, so I will check that out and try to work for them a couple of days a week. In their ad they said they especially need volunteers to play with the cats to help socialize them. Now that's a job I could love! Enough with helping the university save nickels and dimes, when it's endowment is so huge! Being a micromanaged business manager is so NOT what I am about. It goes against everything I value.

I'm supposed to have a draft of a letter ready today to send to senior faculty explaining why I am on leave (an idea I think is important so that incorrect rumors don't circulate), but I couldn't do it. My therapist is helping me with it, but I don't want to deal with anything about this crash. I just want to forget about all of them and their wicked ways.

I've started the three times a week acupuncture on my knees. It is so good to see my acupuncturist/naturopath that often, as she is the embodiment of caring and positivity and gentleness. Is positivity a word? She wants me to do the anti-inflammation diet, but it is so strict: no wheat, no dairy, no coffee, no tomatoes/potatoes (the nightshades), no sugar or artificial sweetener. The nutritionist I saw last year said the same thing. That my body is "inflammed." I think it's just cause I'm a double Sagittarius. But with these months off, perhaps I can really get into my health care in a different way. Or not.

Bindi's birthday is Saturday and I'm having some folks over to celebrate. I'm going to have a cake made with her picture on it, and we'll play pin the tail on the Chihuahua. How cute is that? I said I would have a light supper prepared, but have no idea what to prepare. Any suggestions? I plan these things and then resent the work involved. Resent. Should be spelled rezent. Resent is like re-sent, as in resending something. Whatever.

Found a pair of red wire rim glasses frames finally. Have ordered the frames from one optician, and will take them to my long time opticion to have the lenses made. Have been looking for red wire rims for years. And they have matching magnetic sunshades to go with.

Watched "Phenomenon" on the telly last night. Have seen it many times, but it is such a sweet sweet movie, one of Travolta's best. Want to see the new Johnny Depp movie, although it will be bloody, but I just have to see everything he does.

It's cold, there's snow on the ground, and I can't wait for spring. March 15 those peas go in!

Garbage Pickup Tomorrow

I like taking the whole morning to water the plants. I want to be part of the "slow" movement, not everyone else who is going faster and faster and faster. Do more, be more, see more. This leave is exactly what I needed and now I have to get it extended to see what I can really discover about what I need to do long term.

Winter Solstice

A sad one, two friends passed on. Oxmyx, my brother's cat for about 14 years, and Dilwyn, my friend's Dalmation. Also about 14 years. I think on the same day.

Bit Bit

Today while running errands I went to Posh Pet Glamour Boutique up the road, where I had gone once before. I had met Bit Bit, a very small male Chihuahua who runs the store with his person, and I wanted to bring him Bindi's sweater from when she was a puppy. I had been looking for the perfect size canine to give it to, and Bit Bit was the one. It fit him perfectly. The picture is from their website, and I don't know if it is Bit Bit, but it could be.

Got my beautiful knit beverage coasters from the HandCraft Store, run by my niece and her friend.

Had a nice nice birthday at M's, with Rachel and Frances, and Rob, and Tommaso, and M & S. Yummy dinner, cappucino cheesecake for dessert, and a trip to 116 Crown afterwards with Tommaso. Got some sweet gifts, including a manatee photo that Rob had taken, and a pair of candles M brought from Paris, with gold leaf on them. And my nice R. called me from Paris, where she is in school, and my friend Y. called me from Australia. I felt loved. And email birthday wishes from others.

On the Fifth Day

of my leave, my true self gave to me,
five pounds of bird seed,
four furniture risers,
three eating dinner,
two fox salt shakers,
and a trip to a new doggie park.

And D. called. So kind of him. Went swimming at the Y pool yesterday with Rachel and Frances, then watched Firehouse Dog with Frances while Rachel took a bath and a nap. It was pretty funny, if predictable.

Found some snow boots today on sale, big clunkers from North Face, but just what I needed. The weather has been lousy, snow, sleet, rain. The lights are on my holiday hibiscus tree, and I may have a young visitor tomorrow whom I hope will help me put some ornaments on.

Watched a program on the filming of Planet Earth, the incredible BBC series. The patience and boredom and extreme weather that the photographers endure to bring us such stunning visuals is indeed a gift. They are deserving of our gratitude.

I need a standing coat tree, since I don't have a coat closet in the living room. Saw one at Pier 1, but it's still too expensive. Will see if it comes down in price after the holidays.

Sing To The Tune Of

The 12 Days of Christmas.

On the first day of my leave
My true self gave to me
A trip to a new doggie park.

On the second day of my leave
My true self gave to me
Two fox salt shakers
And a trip to a new doggie park.

On the third day of my leave
My true self gave to me
Three eating dinner
Two fox salt shakers
And a trip to a new doggie park.

On the fourth day of my leave
My true self gave to me
Four furniture risers
Three eating dinner
Two fox salt shakers
And a trip to a new doggie park.

Bargains

Saw a client this morning, then took Bindi for a walk. The stream is still unfrozen, and the sun was out. We had a tiny snow fall yesterday, but the news reported lots of car accidents and delays. The northeast every year gets more and more crazy about a bit of snow, as if we have never seen it. Nuts. Stopped by the consignment shop not to far from my house to see if the vintage wool filled comforter was still there. I had seen it last week and was attacted to it, but knew from my childhood that these kind of satin rayon or polyester covered duvet slips off the bed as easily as a penquin sliding into the Arctic waters off an ice floe, but I felt a nostalgia about it. It was still there, and although marked $22, the woman gave it to me for $12. Kind of looks like the one in the picture but nicer. Then I had skim milk latte with T. at Buns & Noodles, and he paid. He left, and I went to the Clinique counter to see if they had oil free moisturizer. They did, for $35. I had a $25 B & N gift card I won in a Michigan raffle, and there was 20% off for university staff and faculty. The bottle of moisturizer ended up costing me $4.98. Then I was desperate for a haircut, and went to State St. looking for what was open, as it was nearing 5pm. Found The Tonsorial Salon still open, walked in, and Juana, one of the three Latina women working, gave me a very masculine cut, as I had pointed to the poster above her station of a man with a short haircut. It was fine. When I went to pay, she said, $18. $18!!!! It's gonna be my new salon from now on. Juana took her time and did what I wanted. A good day money-wise, all in all.

Oops

Odd slip. Instead of "house" at the Group W Bench, I meant "hat." Hmmmm.

Enchanted

Went to see the movie Enchanted with Rachel and Frances. It was corny and funny. Then we had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's.

Earlier in the day I went to Edgerton and dug up my canna and dahlia tubers. Just in time, as the top two inches of soil had already frozen, but the tubers were still viable. I let Bindi run around thru the gardens which I think she liked altho she was shivering afterwards.

Had lunch with L & B, up from New York, which was so fine. I hope they will come and visit me and stay over in my guest room. We had a fun time going into the Group W Bench store, and I almost bought a house that they said made me look like Sherlock Holmes, but it was a bit pricey, so I passed. Might go back and get it. It's hard for me to find hats I like and I need one for the winter.

Spent a bit of time in Barnes & Noble (Buns and Noodles!) and found a great book, 1001 Gardens You Should Visit Before You Die, or something like that. Seemed a good compendium, but also pricey so I passed. Aren't I good?

Tomorrow is M's birthday and I am taking her and S to the diner for dinner. Haven't finished her present, but perhaps it will just have to be a holiday gift.

Wrote the draft letter for my dr's appt. tomorrow.

Spirit Talker

This is a poem I wrote this morning for a Native American client of mine. Her birthday is tomorrow. She has many health problems, has profound ptsd, and is working very hard to get well. Spirit Talker is the name given her by a tribal elder.


SPIRIT TALKER

Is wise and knows the truth
Has self-knowledge
and knows what she needs
Is strong and can say no
Has survived and endured
when others would perish
Possesses deep compassion and says yes
when the time is right
Is loyal and kind to those
who cherish her
Is brave and protects those
who require it
Has the courage of her integrity
regardless of how others may judge
Acknowledges the suffering of the past,
determined to move beyond the pain
Embraces solitude to nurture her vision
Knows humor is her ally
and centeredness her power
Dares to heal her wounds
facing discomfort and fear
Honors her beauty and
the sacredness of her soul

SPIRIT TALKER LIVES!

Saturday

Mandala created with felt tip pens with nieces around the table during Thanksgiving visit to them and nephews and parents. Miss them.

Two crafts fairs today. Found the perfect holiday gift for M & S. And something for Bindi.

It's very hard to blog these days

Broken Glass

Last night in a dream. My ex-husband was throwing many wine glasses on the floor, creating a huge pile of shards and jagged glass. It was so frightening. In another part of the dream, I think I was doing very badly for another reason, not because of the glass, but can't remember what. Oh, and the ex-husband in the dream brought home a woman he was consorting with, and I became furious and violent. Not hard to analyze this one.

On Sunday I planted about 80 tulip bulbs in front of my house. The local Stop & Shop was selling them for $.99 a bag. Raked some leaves. Rachel and Frances came over for a bit. The trees are nearly bare now. Bindi liked plopping in the large piles of leaves. Funny pup.

Crafts Fairs/Holiday Bazaars

My yearly ritual. Check out the church holiday fairs, to see what's to be had. Went to Branford mostly, and Madison, and saw a lot of junk, but did manage to score a few inexpensive and nice things for gifts. Got myself four new placemats from Malaysia from the Fair Trade holiday fair, at the Mercy Center, then Bindiloo and I took a walk on their small beach which was so fine.

Had a dream last night about a beautiful beach and rock area, in Florida, a place that I've never seen. A dreamscape. Smooth rock outcroppings, small eddies and pools, clear water, such loveliness. An enchantment. The beach at the Mercy Center was in the most vague ways similar, but the water was cold, the rocks were jagged, and there weren't any small pools. But possibly I was having a bit of precognition, because i did not plan to go to that beach today. Perhaps it called me. Another dream had me in a shop trying on dressy sweaters, and I finally settled on a black close-fitting one, with sequins in the front. It was not expensive. Then I was in a very large carpetted room, singing or dancing I think.

I went to hear the musicians described below last week. Mudgal in addition to vocalizing to complicated rhythms used his hands in the most evocative and stunning ways, even while sitting on the ground while performing. His chanting made me feel stoned. When I walked out of the performance space, it was as if I was entering back into a harsh reality. I had been transported.

Pandit Madhup Mudgal is one of India’s best-known Indian classical vocalists. Born into a family of musicians and singers, he has trained with maestros Pandit Jasraj and Pandit Kumar Gandharva, and has developed his own unique style, maintaining a fine balance between classicism and innovation. He has experimented with various musical forms and has performed in fusion concerts with eminent Jazz musicians from Brazil, as well as composing original music for dance.

From the Vedic chants of the 1st millennia through the Persian and Sufi music of the medieval period and the folk and Bhakti traditions of the 14th to 17th centuries, Indian classical and folk music has a very strong tradition of honoring the sacred. The monophonic, melodic mode of the raga seems almost designed to explore the inner depths of the mind and emotions. In Madhup’s rendering they embody the fusion of Hindu, Muslim and Sikh music in a tradition of mututal respect. Madhup follows these syncretic traditions, singing Hindu Bhajans, Sufi Kalaams and Sikh Shabad Kirtan with equal fervor.

Madhup conducts the Gandharva Choir, a renowned music group that has given performances all over the world. He also heads the Gandharva Mahavidyalaya in Delhi, a leading institution for training in music, dance and the arts of India. In 2006, he was awarded the prestigious Padma Shri by the Indian Government for his contributions to the field of Hindustani music.

Accompanied by Ray Spiegel (Tabla) and Stan Scott (harmonium)

Camilla is Back

After two days and three nights away. Blessed be.

Obstacles

Camilla is missing. She ran out of the house last night, stayed away all night, and still isn't back. I'm trying not to panic, but she is not a cat big on being outdoors. Some good things have happened but right now her disappearance is overshadowing all.